Los Angeles, CA (June 28th) A judge has stopped the release of a sex tape starring actor Vern Troyer. In the tape, Mr. Troyer plays the role of the dildo.
Chicago, IL (June 28th)- Stevie Wonder wowed the crowd with a stirring rendition of Higher Ground before a Barack Obama speech in Chicago Friday night. The appearance led Bill O'Reilly to say, "We get it Mr. Obama. He's blind. Boo hoo. What's next? Michael J. Fox on tambourine?
Sedona, AZ (June 28th) A representative for presidential candidate John McCain is defending the Senator's decision to forgo campaigning on the weekends. "Senator McCain keeps a rigorous schedule Monday through Friday. Setting aside time for his cat and his hobbies is perfectly understandable." When reached for a comment the Senator said, "Tell mommy that I found a casino token in a parking lot last Saturday."
Washington D.C. (June 28th) -
Rumors continue to swirl about Libertarian presidential candidate Bob Barr being selected as John McCain's running mate. In a related story, recent polls show that among voters ages 32 to 54, Mr. Barr was selected as the guy who most looks like someone who might be caught by the Dateline NBC To Catch a Predator cameras.
Washington, D.C.- June 23, 2008 - "Hardball's" Chris Matthews is resting comfortably at the Washington Hospital Center after pulling his back out. MSNBC "Countdown" anchor, Keith Olbermann, says Mr. Matthews was in the middle of one of his signature laughs when, at the same moment, he received word that Tom Brokaw was chosen as the new anchor on "Meet the Press."
Continued Mr. Keith Olbermann, "I heard this popping sound and, at first, it sounded like a gun shot. The crew and everyone on the set dove for cover under the table. I got an eyeful of Andrea Mitchell, let's just leave it at that."
Mr. Matthews was reportedly upset that he wasn't chosen for the "Meet the Press" anchor position, and was known to call Mr. Russert a "big fatty" behind closed doors.
Mr. Brokaw will replace Tim Russert who died suddenly from a heart attack on June 13.
Doctors say that Mr. Matthews should make a full recovery but he has been ordered not to talk or laugh for three weeks.
A smiling Keith Olbermann said he wishes his political co-anchor a speedy recovery.
George Carlin dies at 71, country mourns
Baghdad (June 23, 2008) - Comedian George Carlin died yesterday at the St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica, California. He was submitted to the hospital after complaining of chest pain and died at 5:55 p.m.
News of his death quickly spread throughout the world. Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki has declared a state of mourning and the Iraqi flag will fly at half-mast for the entire week.
Said Maliki, "That George Carlin was a funny, funny man."
Many Iraqi women were too distraught to speak as tears streamed down their faces upon receiving word of the news.
Said Iraqi one woman, who asked not to be identified, "This is worse than Tim Russert. I hope MSNBC provides even greater coverage this week than they did for Mr. Russert. Mr. Russert can be replaced by Tom Brokaw, but Mr. Carlin is a giant whose shoes cannot be filled."
London (Laughfish.com) - Official time: 22 days, 18hrs, 45 min, 7 sec.
Recent User Posts
